Where the chairs are

And why it matters

Tonight I’m in Newcastle. I don’t think I’ve been here since I had a wander round while covering a Lib Dem conference in Gateshead (which it turns out having checked was in 2012 so I remember when all this was fields).

Anyway having a mooch today the city looked great in the sunshine (as everywhere always does) before heading down into The Stand comedy club for the show.

Heading down is important. I think comedy is better if it takes place underground. Or at least in somewhere with very low ceilings. Monday night I was in a theatre in Canterbury which was a lovely but vast concert hall capable of holding an orchestra or a choir on stage. Great crowd. But the room was too big, the audience too far away. Two of the best audience members (really joined in during the interactive section) had sat themselves absurdly high up in the balcony, like the King and Queen in the Royal Box.

Confidence boost in the green room

Not here at The Stand in Newcastle. Or The Stand in Edinburgh which I’m heading to next, or The Stand in Glasgow where I’ve been before. Or any of the Glee Clubs I’ve played. Or any of the proper comedy venues I haven’t played but have sat in the audience for.

The front row’s knees touching the stage, little tables and chairs slotted together like jenga. You can’t just see the whites of their eyes you can smell them. It makes the whole thing more intimate, more live, more special.

Obviously I’ve been writing and rehearsing this for months. Well many weeks, anyway. But you want the show to feel spontaneous. Like I’m just telling you some things I know, not a dramatic monologue or soliloquy. I’ve seen very famous comedians do shows which felt like they’d have been exactly the same with or without the audience.

I’m also conscious that I’m not really a comedian so anything I can do to make it look like comedy from the start helps: good, loud playlist for when the audience come in, wearing a suit, mic on a stand on the stage. And obviously being in a comedy club says “comedy” better than all that.

But the chairs are really important. I promise I won’t touch your knee. But I do want you to slap them yourself.

Anyway take your seat at some of the remaining shows of this tour, or I’ll see you London in the autumn. All the details here