It’s been a slightly crazy second week on 5 Live, but you’ll know that because you’ve been listening every day 2pm-4pm.
Anyway, various things I’ve enjoyed:
Taking Dom Joly to PMQs; Dom Joly revealing he used to work in Westminster but got sacked by ITN after paying a group of people to play football behind David Mellor (and they kicked the ball at his head); Dom Joly starting the show by shouting into a mobile phone.
Grant Shapps saying the secret to a successful political interview is “just answer the bloody question”. If only.
Former Tory spad Kirsty Buchanan revealing that it was Theresa May’s idea to come on dancing to Abba at her party conference - while her team all demanded to know of each other who had “authorised” the moves.
Speaking to Amaro in a pet supply store in Springfield, Ohio about Donald Trump’s claim that in the town: “They're eating the dogs! They're eating the cats!” Amaro’s verdict? They’re not. But I did hear a goose in the background, so...
Also on the radio show, I asked listeners to send in possible dishes for eating cats and dogs. I suggested Cattage Pie, Not Poodle, Spaghetti Siamese, Airedale Terrine, German Shepherd's Pie, and Yorkshire Terrier Pudding. The listeners did better: Chicken meow chein, Barklava, Spring roll over, Sushitzu, Pupsicles, Great Dane-ish pastry, Border Collie-flower cheese, Steak and Alesation pie, Tabbyoca, Catatouille and Flapjack Russell. One person added: “All of these should be taken with a Doberman Pinscher salt....” If you can do better/worse, hit the comments…
Now that I’m getting my feet a bit more comfortably under the new desk, I’ve also managed to find time to read a bit more this week.
I can’t recommend Robert Harris’s new book, Precipice, enough. It’s the extraordinary (true) story about Asquith, the Liberal prime minister, conducting a bizarre affair with a woman half his age. He sent her more than 500 letters over a couple of years. Sometimes several times a day. Often containing government memos. Occasionally including top secret details of troop movements. Oh yes, because it’s in the run-up to, and during, the First World War. Mind-boggling true story political rom-com. A treat.
Helen Lewis’s The Bluestocking is excellent. But you know that. Standing in a line at the US Embassy waiting to get a visa, I really enjoyed her piece for The Atlantic on Josh Rogan, and his impact in reshaping Austin, Texas. But this line on the conspiracy tendencies has stuck with me: “It’s good to be open-minded, but not so much that your brain falls out.” Unbeatable writing.
Patrick Maguire in The Times on how SW1A is still struggling to realise it’s not 2018 any more: “For the recovering crisis addicts of Westminster this new power dynamic is a weak substitute for the dopamine rush of political instability.”
Nate Silver, who came on my show last week, is a must read during this US election campaign. Reflecting on the impact of debates this week, he noted that Jimmy Carter eventually debated Ronald Reagan very late in the campaign — the latest debate in history — and “got his clock cleaned”. A phrase I had never come across before. It seems to me “got roundly beaten”. Which I shall now be trying to smuggle into conversation as my own.
My book, Planes, Trains and Toilet Doors: 50 Places That Changed British Politics, is out in paperback on October 10, with a bonus chapter on the place that shaped Keir Starmer’s leadership. Pre-order now.
‘’F *** ing brilliant. I would describe it as like a bag of political nuts – moreish and fabulously salty’ JOE LYCETT
Vindication on the Larry the Cat front. As I may have mentioned before here, and here, and here, I hate cats, but also people who who think laughing about Larry the Cat is a substitute for having a personality.
Well now Ian Murray, the Scottish secretary, has seen the light. When the new Labour cabinet first arrived in No10 they were all (weirdly) excited about getting a photo with the cat. Larry wasn’t having any of it.
“Larry the cat is the most miserable animal you’ll ever meet in your life,” Murray said in a speech this week. “And without putting too fine a point on it, Larry the cat is a little shit.”
No further questions, your honour.
I have finally got round to framing some of my old tour posters, which has got me just starting to think about a new stand-up show. Nothing until next year, but the seeds are being sown. Luckily you’re signed up to the mailing list so you’ll be the first to know.